39 and Holding...

Tonight's Wine: Wonderful Wine Co. 2013 Columbia Valley Riesling

So, tonight is the last night that I will go to bed with a man in his 30s. Yes, my dear husband hits the big 4-0 tomorrow, and he...well, actually, he couldn't care less. We had a great weekend this past weekend to celebrate (well, I had a great weekend, anyway - he had a tooth abscess Thursday night and spent the weekend nursing bourbon and taking antibiotics!), but it wasn't a big deal. Although I had been trying for months to plan some huge getaway or party - Vegas! The Bahamas! Europe! - he just wasn't into it. I have to admit, my own big 4-0 is a little over six months away, and I am already obsessing. Subconsciously, I feel that on that February morning, I will wake up stooped over, wrinkled, and with my whole body aching. Ridiculous, no? But I think that's the difference between turning 40 as a woman and turning 40 as a man.

Let me be the first to tell you, there is no doubt that my husband has improved with age. He is more physically fit now, the little bit of gray in his beard suits him, and I think fatherhood and experience have mellowed him and made him kinder, smarter, and more fun. It is so easy for me to see how the aging process has done him nothing but favors...so why is it so hard for me to see whether it's done the same for me? Why do I view this stupid, arbitrary birthday as THE END of my youth, my vitality, my LIFE? It's insane, I know, and yet. And yet, it's still there.

The best way for me to handle 40, I think, is to remind myself of all of my gorgeous, smart, funny, successful, fun-loving friends who have reached that milestone already and lived to tell about it. When I look at my girlfriends, there is not a one among them whose age every crosses my mind. I have a couple of younger friends (and I admit, they are annoying me a little right now by virtue solely of BEING younger!), but most of my friends are in the 40-and-up club. And they are AMAZING. As a matter of fact, one of the things I admire most about my 40+ friends is their confidence. They look great, they accomplish much, and they know it. They are past the worrying and insecurity of a younger age. 40 has been fantastic to all of them. It's going to be fantastic to my husband, starting tomorrow. Maybe, just maybe, by six months from now, I will have accepted that it is going to be fantastic for me too.

Cheers!